A divorce is incredibly stressful emotionally. You soon realise that your life will now look completely different. Certainty turns into uncertainty, and that stirs up a lot of emotions. It is a period you want to get through as well as possible. Legal expenses insurance can help with that. This page describes the situation in the Netherlands.
Debts and joint and several liability
In a divorce, not only the assets have to be divided, but also the debts that fall within the community of property. A distinction has to be made, among other things, between the limited community of property and the full community of property. There may also be a prenuptial agreement (huwelijkse voorwaarden) that sets out what does and does not fall within the community. In principle, debts incurred during the marriage for running the household are joint. The two partners are then jointly and severally liable for the debts, even if the debts were incurred by only one of the partners.
More about debts and liabilityDivorce with children
In a divorce, it is always important to make good agreements. Certainly if there are children, the importance of this should not be underestimated. It is not only about agreements on child maintenance, for example, but also about contact arrangements. Parents continue to have the right to see their child. These agreements are set out in a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan). A parenting plan is mandatory if the children are minors. Even after the divorce, both parents are entitled to information from the school, see the right of parents to information.
In a joint divorce, a lawyer will submit the following documents to the court:
- Parenting plan including the contact arrangements, agreements on care and upbringing and maintenance agreements (mandatory for minor children)
- Agreements on the division of maintenance and study costs (mandatory for children aged 18 to 21)
- Divorce settlement agreement (echtscheidingsconvenant) (not mandatory)
- Copy of the marriage certificate
- Extracts from the Personal Records Database (BRP)
- Copy of the birth certificate of each minor child
- Petition for divorce
A mediator can help in making the agreements that are included in the parenting plan. Several legal expenses insurers cover the mediation costs.
Divorce without children
Even when there are no children, a number of agreements need to be made. For example, about how the belongings will be divided and what should happen with the debts. Perhaps you both want to keep seeing the dog you share, or one of you wants to stay in the home? Agreements like these are set out in a divorce settlement agreement. There may also be a prenuptial agreement. In that case, the most important agreements have already been made, but they still have to be put into practice. In all these cases, a mediator can be useful. Many legal expenses insurers cover the mediation costs in a divorce without children.
In a joint divorce without children, the lawyer must submit the following documents to the court:
- Petition for divorce
- Divorce settlement agreement
- Extracts from the Personal Records Database (BRP)
- Copy of the marriage certificate
Divorce with an owner-occupied home
In a divorce with an owner-occupied home, the home belongs to the owner. If both ex-partners are owners, the home must be divided or sold. It is also possible to include agreements in the divorce settlement agreement about who will continue to live in the home.
- Determine who owns the home
In principle, the buyer is the owner of the home. However, different agreements may have been made in the prenuptial agreement. If there is no prenuptial or partnership agreement and there is a registered partnership or a marriage in community of property, each partner owns half. For a marriage or registered partnership entered into before 1 January 2018 (general community of property), this is also the case if one of the ex-partners bought the house alone before the marriage. For marriages and partnerships from 1 January 2018, the limited community of property applies (Article 1:94 of the Dutch Civil Code, BW, as amended by Bulletin of Acts and Decrees (Stb.) 2017, 177). But is it a limited community of property without any agreement? Then the home in principle remains personal property, unless the home was bought together before the marriage or one of the two bought the home during the marriage.
- Make agreements together
If one person is the sole owner, the ex-partner must leave the home. Unless different agreements are made in a divorce settlement agreement. If both ex-partners own the home, the home can be divided or sold. In a division, the bank may first have to agree. In a sale, the mortgage debt is paid off first and the rest of the money is divided. It is also possible to agree that you both remain owners and, for example, let the house.
- Get help
If you cannot work it out together, you can call in the help of a mediator (see mediation in a divorce). A mediator helps you reach a solution together. Many legal expenses insurers cover these mediation costs. If mediation does not help, it is advisable to bring in a lawyer. If necessary, the lawyer will ask the court for a decision.
Unilateral petition
To apply for a divorce, you have to go to court. You can apply together or on your own. In the second case, it is called a unilateral petition (eenzijdig verzoekschrift). A lawyer submits this unilateral petition. The ex-partner then receives a copy of the petition and can then submit a statement of defence. For that, the ex-partner also needs a lawyer. The ex-partner can also choose not to defend by doing nothing (waiting for the defence period to expire) or by submitting a statement of no objection (referteverklaring).
Maintenance
After a divorce, one ex-partner can be expected to contribute financially to the living costs of the other ex-partner. The ex-partner with the highest income then pays maintenance (alimentatie) to the ex-partner who is less able to support themselves. This is called partner maintenance. If there are children, there is also child maintenance. Unlike in the past, whether or not maintenance is awarded no longer depends on who was to blame. Since 1 January 2020, partner maintenance as a rule lasts a maximum of 5 years, unless the court sets a different period. There are exceptions, for example with young children (until the youngest child turns 12) or after a long marriage (Article 1:157 of the Dutch Civil Code, BW).
More about child and partner maintenanceMediator or divorce coach
Legally, it is perfectly possible to divorce by mutual agreement and to make all the practical arrangements between the two of you. In practice, this is often not so simple, and there are quite a few (financial) points of disagreement. A mediator can then help you reach solutions together. A mediator does not take sides and acts as a coach. The starting point of mediation is that the parties do not oppose each other, but talk to each other under the guidance of a communication expert who also has the necessary legal and practical knowledge. A mediation process costs around €2,000. Many legal expenses insurers offer a contribution towards this.
Steps in a divorce
A divorce rarely goes as quickly and smoothly as we would like. That is not even surprising, as frustration, anger, sadness and disappointment soon rear their heads. Many people even experience feelings they have never felt before and find hard to put into words. Although many people find it all rather chaotic, in practice a divorce often follows a more or less streamlined course. It goes through the steps below.
- Let everything sink in
When you say you want a divorce, you have probably been thinking about it for a while. You may also have already talked about it with others. That may not be the case for your partner. It can take the other person by surprise. Some people become furious, others sad. But almost always, people need some time to come to terms with it all. So give your partner some time to let everything sink in, and do not start making practical arrangements straight away.
- Get help and apply for the divorce
Some people can make arrangements about the divorce together without help, but for many people it is useful to get help. That can be a lawyer, but also a conciliator or a mediator. Who the right person is depends on the situation. A mediator is only useful if some discussion is still possible. If no discussion at all is possible, the lawyers will have to work it out between them, or the lawyer will put the case before the court. The divorce is applied for through the court. A lawyer submits the divorce petition; a lawyer is always needed for a divorce.
- Make financial arrangements
A divorce always has financial consequences. There are joint assets and joint debts that need to be divided. Arrangements also have to be made about maintenance. Sometimes it is not possible to agree on all financial matters straight away. In that case, look for as many points as possible on which you can already reach agreement. If no discussion at all is possible, the lawyer will help sort everything out.
- Make arrangements about the children
The starting point must be that the children should never become the victims of the divorce. Even if you cannot agree on the financial matters, the interests of the child must remain central. As a parent, you simply have a duty of care for your children. However, children cannot be in two places at the same time, and arrangements have to be made about that. This is also called a contact arrangement (omgangsregeling). The arrangements that are made are set out in the parenting plan. Drawing up such a parenting plan is mandatory.
- Make the divorce final
To make the divorce final, you have to go to court. If arrangements have already been made about everything, this is purely a formality. Sometimes the court still has to make a number of decisions. Anyone who disagrees with the court can also lodge an appeal. Once the court's decision has been entered in the civil registry (burgerlijke stand), the divorce is final. This must happen within a period of six months.
Divorce settlement agreement
A divorce settlement agreement (echtscheidingsconvenant) is an important document when arranging a divorce. It sets out agreements on matters such as the household contents, the debts, maintenance, the house and so on. Drawing up a divorce settlement agreement is in principle not mandatory, except when you are going ahead with a joint divorce without children. In any case, drawing up a divorce settlement agreement is advisable.
In some cases, third parties will ask for a divorce settlement agreement. This is the case, for example, for housing associations, which will ask for a copy of the divorce settlement agreement if one of the ex-partners wants to stay in the rented home. Of course, a copy of the court ruling (on who may stay in the home) will then also be sufficient. When taking out a loan, you may also be asked for the divorce settlement agreement, because maintenance obligations affect how much you can borrow.
More about the divorce settlement agreementThe cost of a divorce
A lot needs to be arranged in a divorce. So it is logical that a divorce comes with considerable costs. Especially if a lawyer or an expert has to be brought in, the costs soon add up.
| Cost item | Estimated amount |
|---|---|
| Mediation | €2,000 to €2,500 for a standard process |
| Lawyer's fees | €150 to €200 per hour |
| Court fee (griffierecht) for divorce (2026) | €341 (low income: €93) |
| Bailiff's writ | €60 |
Above, we have only taken the common cost items into account. Some divorces will cost more, for example if accountants need to be brought in because of financial complexity. You may be eligible for subsidised legal aid. Anyone with a low income pays the lower court fee for people of limited means (Article 16 of the Civil Court Fees Act, Wet griffierechten burgerlijke zaken). In addition, the legal expenses insurer may cover part of the mediation costs. In other words, in practice the costs can turn out (much) higher or lower.
Legal expenses insurance cover for divorce
In principle, legal expenses insurance does not cover the costs of legal assistance in divorce disputes. Sometimes, possibly through an additional module, a contribution is paid towards divorce mediation. All kinds of conditions are often attached to divorce mediation. Usually the relationship must have lasted long enough, and a long waiting period also applies.
Waiting period for legal expenses insurance
Many legal expenses insurers apply a waiting period. This means that only legal disputes that arise after this waiting period are covered by the legal expenses insurer. The waiting period is usually three months, but for divorces it can be as long as three years. There are also legal expenses insurers without a waiting period, but they almost always make an exception for divorce mediation.
All about the waiting periodOverview of legal expenses insurance cover for divorce
When it comes to divorce, there are huge differences between insurers. Most insurers do cover divorce mediation, but often only if there has been a sufficiently long registered partnership or marriage. Only a few insurers also cover mediation about ending a cohabitation agreement (samenlevingscontract, registered with a civil-law notary). There are also big differences in the amounts covered. Most Dutch insurers offer their website and policy documents in Dutch only.
| Insurer | Length of relationship | Cover for cohabitation agreement | Waiting period | Reimbursement |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| a.s.r. | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,500 |
| ABN AMRO | 0 years | No | 3 years | €3,000 |
| Aegon | 1 year | No | 3 years | €3,000 |
| Allianz | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,500 |
| Anker | 1 year | No | 1 year | €1,500 to €3,000 |
| ANWB and Unigarant | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,500 |
| Aon | 1 year | No | 3 years | €5,000 |
| ARAG | 1 year | No | 3 years | €3,000 to €3,250 |
| Das | 3 years | With Das Totaal | 3 years | €2,500 |
| De Goudse | 2 years | No | 1 year | €3,000 |
| De Internationale | 1 year | Yes | 1 year | €1,500 |
| InShared | 1 year | Yes | 3 years | €3,000 |
| ING and Nationale-Nederlanden | 3 years | No | 1 year | €3,000 |
| OHRA | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,000 |
| Roxo | 1 year | Yes | 1 year | €1,500 |
| SNS | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,000 |
| Univé | 3 years | Yes | 3 years | €3,000 |
| Vereniging Eigen Huis | 1 year | Yes | 0 years | €3,000 |
| Verzekeruzelf.nl | 1 year | Yes | 1 year | €3,000 |
| ZLM | 3 years | No | 3 years | €2,500 |
Source: Consumentenbond, via Moneyview. Reference date: 19 July 2022
Frequently asked questions about what a divorce involves
A divorce almost always raises questions, whatever divorce procedure is followed. That is certainly the case if there are children. The FAQ about divorce below answers a number of frequently asked questions.
Can I stay in the house if we divorce?
Yes, it is possible to stay in a jointly owned home after the divorce. A wide range of agreements can be made about this. For example, the ex-partner can be bought out. Or it can be agreed together that one person stays in the house with the children, for example until the children have left home. Even if the other ex-partner is and remains the owner, it is possible to agree together that the non-owner stays in the house. A mediator can help in making agreements about this.
How long does a divorce take?
The length of a divorce procedure can vary greatly and depends on how quickly both ex-partners manage to make suitable agreements. It also depends on how quickly the divorce settlement agreement is approved by the court. This takes 4 to 8 weeks on average. On average, a divorce takes three to four months. Of course, there are also people who litigate for years.
What do I need to arrange in a divorce?
A lot needs to be arranged in a divorce. For example, agreements have to be made about partner maintenance, the division of pensions and the home. For the home, you sometimes need to consult the mortgage lender or the landlord. The consequences for your tax return and tax refund also need to be checked. Also think about joint contracts that need to be cancelled or taken over, dividing the assets and the debts and so on. All the agreements made are set out in a divorce settlement agreement.
Does legal expenses insurance cover the costs of a divorce?
Legal expenses insurance does not cover legal assistance in a divorce. Many legal expenses insurers do (partly) cover the mediation costs needed to make agreements together. However, there are insurers that do not cover this.
What is the difference between a divorce and a legal separation?
In a legal separation (scheiding van tafel en bed), you live apart, but you remain married in the eyes of the law. Otherwise, you simply have to arrange the same things as in a divorce, for example drawing up a parenting plan. A legal separation is a solution, among other things, if divorce is not permitted by your religion. A legal separation can later be undone. In a divorce, you do not remain married in the eyes of the law. Moreover, a divorce is final.