Problems with the neighbours' children

Everything is going well. A quiet neighbourhood, a south-facing home, and then all hell breaks loose: the neighbours have children. Even the best relationships between neighbours can come under pressure when children misbehave. On the other hand, a certain degree of tolerance can also be expected. It remains important that neighbours can communicate well with each other, but if necessary, an end must be put to the problem situation. This page describes the situation in the Netherlands.

Problems with children playing in the garden

A common problem is children playing in the garden. Often the problem is that parents have put up a climbing trampoline or a swing for their children and then also invite all their classmates. And anyone who has ever been to a playground knows that children, in all their enthusiasm, can make quite a racket.

You will not simply be able to have the trampoline removed; in the end, the neighbours are free to do what they like with their garden. Having the children removed will not work either. But there may be noise nuisance caused by the children. Still, this will not be the case all that quickly. More about this can be read on the page about noise nuisance. In any case, try to start a conversation and find a solution together. Neighbours who have a pleasant relationship will often be willing to make concessions. The children may then, for example, only play in the garden until a certain time, so that the neighbours who like to go to bed early also get their well-deserved night's sleep.

Another common problem has to do with an essential feature of the trampoline: children jump on it. A little devil's head peering over the garden fence every five seconds is indeed not good for privacy. Agreements can again be made about this, but in practice a trampoline of course loses its purpose when it can no longer be jumped on. That is why it is above all advisable to tackle the dividing wall. If there is no dividing wall yet, in a built-up part of a municipality you can demand that a dividing wall two metres high be built, unless a by-law or local custom provides otherwise (Article 5:49 of the Dutch Civil Code, BW). The neighbours must then pay half of the costs and also become owner of half of it. In addition, it is possible to build a wall yourself on your own land. Finally, consultation is always possible, and neighbours can decide together to raise the existing wall.

Problems with cheeky children who misbehave

According to some, children are innocence itself. According to others, they are cheeky little rascals who bully and are only too happy to hide behind their so-called childlike innocence. Either way, it is not unusual for children to get up to mischief or sometimes even to be really nasty.

From a social point of view, it is important to identify antisocial behaviour in children at an early stage. According to research, children who show antisocial behaviour at an early age simply have a greater chance of ending up in crime later on. The most important thing is that the situation is raised with the parents. This is often the most effective way to make the problem behaviour stop.

Still, we know that this will not always be enough. There will always be a group who play down their children's behaviour and who will mainly experience it as criticism of their parenting style. They experience this as a threat. At such a moment, the relationship with the neighbours can be completely ruined and even become hostile. There is then often nothing else for it but to seek help elsewhere. A solution that is as accessible as possible is advisable. Think of mediation and involving community workers (wijkwerkers). Community workers can also collect complaints and are often the ideal link to further help, because that is still where the focus should lie in the first instance. However, if you are seriously worried about the parenting situation, it is advisable to contact the Centre for Youth and Family (Centrum voor Jeugd en Gezin, CJG).

Children cause damage

Whether the neighbours' children deliberately get up to mischief or accidentally kick a ball through the lovely windows, it is always possible to approach the parents. Up to the age of 14, the parents (or the guardian) are always liable for their child's conduct. They will then have to compensate the damage. With children aged 14 and 15, the parents are also liable, except when they cannot be blamed for anything. In practice, the latter is so exceptional that we can say with near certainty that the parents will still be liable.

As soon as a child is 16 or older and causes damage, the special liability rules no longer apply and parents are not automatically liable. However, this can still be the case when they did not prevent their child from causing damage. This offers options in the case of children with problem behaviour whose parents take no action. In practice, however, parents are not so quickly liable for the mistakes of older (minor) children.

When the parents are liable, personal liability insurance (AVP) can come to the rescue. Such liability insurance is in principle not compulsory, but it is recommended.

Intervening in the case of neglected children

Of course, it should not be forgotten that children engage in experimental behaviour and that incidental behaviour can certainly fit within this context, but research does show that antisocial behaviour in children can also have deeper causes. Mental health problems in parents, among other things, are often mentioned, but there may also be abuse and neglect. As an indicator of this, extra vigilance is required in the case of persistent behavioural problems.

If you are worried about the wellbeing of the neighbours' children, for example if you suspect abuse, you can contact Veilig Thuis (the advice and reporting centre for domestic violence and child abuse). Even if you are in doubt, it is advisable to contact Veilig Thuis free of charge. This does not automatically have to result in a report. They can also give advice, for example, and there is room to ask questions.

When the staff at Veilig Thuis consider further action necessary, they can pass the report on to the Child Care and Protection Board (Raad voor de Kinderbescherming). The latter can then start an investigation and eventually also take measures. This does not automatically mean that the children will be taken away from the neighbours. A family supervision order (ondertoezichtstelling) or a temporary out-of-home placement (uithuisplaatsing) of a maximum of one year are also among the options. Support for the family remains central here. Only if it turns out to involve serious problems and it turns out that the parents cannot care for their child at all can parental authority be terminated. The child will then be assigned a guardian and will be brought up in a children's home or by a foster family.